I wrote an article on my Sue's Soul Glances blog about A Need to be Right. I gave one example there. I have another one to give here.
Someone I know did something to make a family member very angry. It wasn't the intention of the first person, but it happened. A letter was written expressing the second person's dissatisfaction with the first person. It was a letter of being right.
The person writing the letter angrily stated that the perceptions of the first person were wrong, both as a child and as an adult. While on the other hand the writer's perceptions were right as a child and an adult. Then the comment was made that no further discussion of the topic would be discussed.
The first person sat back with a look of astonishment. This was a typical I am right, you are wrong approach to a situation. What recourse did the first person have? If the door hadn't been shut, the first person could have addressed the issue and argued the point, or let it go and consider the source. The latter was chosen even though the door had been slammed shut.
Many times we feel the need to argue the point. We are right. We know we are right. And you are going to know it too! The other person has the same feelings and so an argument ensues.
While reading the letter, the first person saw the ambiguities in the letter and saw it for what it was: a need to be right. Since the reader was on a different life path than the writer it was a lot easier to just dismiss the letter and move on without addressing the issue.
Can you do that: dismiss something and move on without addressing the issue? Wouldn't it save a lot of bickering and hurt feelings if you did? Think about it and let me know how you stand on the issue of A Need to be Right.
Til Next Time!
©2008, L. Sue Durkin
Sex in the '90s
2 weeks ago