More about a Need to be Right

I wrote an article on my Sue's Soul Glances blog about A Need to be Right. I gave one example there. I have another one to give here.

Someone I know did something to make a family member very angry. It wasn't the intention of the first person, but it happened. A letter was written expressing the second person's dissatisfaction with the first person. It was a letter of being right.

The person writing the letter angrily stated that the perceptions of the first person were wrong, both as a child and as an adult. While on the other hand the writer's perceptions were right as a child and an adult. Then the comment was made that no further discussion of the topic would be discussed.

The first person sat back with a look of astonishment. This was a typical I am right, you are wrong approach to a situation. What recourse did the first person have? If the door hadn't been shut, the first person could have addressed the issue and argued the point, or let it go and consider the source. The latter was chosen even though the door had been slammed shut.

Many times we feel the need to argue the point. We are right. We know we are right. And you are going to know it too! The other person has the same feelings and so an argument ensues.

While reading the letter, the first person saw the ambiguities in the letter and saw it for what it was: a need to be right. Since the reader was on a different life path than the writer it was a lot easier to just dismiss the letter and move on without addressing the issue.

Can you do that: dismiss something and move on without addressing the issue? Wouldn't it save a lot of bickering and hurt feelings if you did? Think about it and let me know how you stand on the issue of A Need to be Right.

Til Next Time!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

Ambiquity

Today was another interesting day. I had some ambiquous feelings. I was upset with a friend of John's, my husband. Then his friend turned around and did something nice. Then he upset me again. Then he again, did something nice. It was like a roller coaster ride. Have you had that happen with people in your life? It seems that in one day they have you coming and going! There must be lessons in their actions for us.

For me I realized that I was being too easily upset. I was allowing things to bother me that I normally would just ignore. Why? Now that was the question!

I haven't been feeling well lately and not getting enough sleep hasn't helped. Could those two elements cause my shortness of tolerance? Possibly. Could it be more? I have heard that if someone upsets you, you should look internally to see what is inside of you that they are reflecting.

Having written it down here has opened my eyes to the possibility that it isn't my husband's friend. It is me. So now I will try to sort out why he bothers me so much.

Thanks for the ear!